Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Love is undefined.


When you miss someone, but there's nothing you can do...

Love is undefined.

If you only have 2 choices, to say or to keep, remember that there's no wrong, there's no true.

First choice, you just keep it, and let it drowns yourself in silence, hurts yourself more than anyone can hurt you. No way.

Second choice, you'll say it, you'll express your feelings, even though you already knew that everything might be so different, ends up being awkward, or even make him/her feels uncomfortable.

Once in a lifetime, as long as you have the chance to say, say it,
it's now or never.

But when you get rejected, at the first time, you'll be sad, you'll cry. It won't take a long time. Sooner or later, you'll heal, you'll be fine. We always get a chance to change, to be better. Don't hate those who don't reply to your feelings, that's not their fault.

People said, some words better left unsaid...
No.
Try to listen instead to your heart.

............................................................................................................................................................................................................

With the the thoughts in my head and the feelings in my heart, 
maybe someday you can hear me.

I hope that someday soon I can see you once again.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Graduation


Mungkin saya merupakan salah satu dari sekian banyak orang yang masih belum percaya kalau dirinya sudah menjadi seorang sarjana. Bukan karena tidak ada yang berkesan selama 4 tahun kuliah, tapi memang waktu terasa berjalan sangat cepat. Bahkan, ospek pun terasa seperti baru kemarin. Setelah tanggal wisuda keluar, saya iseng lihat foto-foto waktu ospek dan awal-awal kuliah. Melihat diri saya 4 tahun yang lalu, sangat terharu, mata terasa panas dan mulai berair, dan saya pun tersenyum, dalam hati, "Alhamdulillaah, perjuanganku selama ini".

Terlintas kenangan bersama teman-teman kuliah, berbagai kegiatan organisasi di kampus, perjuangan KKN di lereng Gn. Merbabu dengan suhu 18°C dan selama satu bulan tidur di lantai beralaskan tikar, dua minggu belajar materi ujian komprehensif dari pagi hingga tengah malam dan suasana haru bersama teman-teman saat nilai keluar dan dinyatakan lulus uji komprehensif, skripsi yang tak kunjung dimulai hingga ke-pending 4 bulan karena terlalu fokus mengemban amanah sebagai Ast. Dosen dan Ast. Tutorial, 3 bulan yang terbuang sia-sia dan harus menyusun skripsi baru karena perusahaan yang dituju tidak memberikan respon terkait kuesioner penelitian.

Pada saat itu, ketika harus mengulang dari awal dan menyusun skripsi baru, sempat down, bercampur aduk rasa kesal, sedih, marah dan kecewa yang pada akhirnya hanya bisa menyalahkan diri sendiri. Butuh waktu seminggu untuk mengumpulkan kembali semangat yang sempat sirna, untuk memulai sesuatu yang baru. Itulah saat di mana saya sangat kecewa pada diri saya, apalagi melihat teman-teman sudah banyak yang wisuda. Meskipun ada sedikit rasa "iri" karena mereka lulus lebih awal, tapi saya jadikan motivasi untuk segera menyelesaikan skripsi dan embel-embel kelulusan.

Alhamdulillah, saya wisuda beberapa hari yang lalu. Perasaan senang dan haru berpadu saat orang tua menyaksikan saya berjalan ke depan dan diwisuda oleh Rektor. Terima kasih, Pa. Satu hal yang selalu saya yakini, bahwa setiap individu memiliki jalan masing-masing, dan kesuksesan hanyalah soal waktu. Wisuda bukanlah akhir, melainkan awal dari perjuangan tantangan yang sesungguhnya.

Teruntuk kalian, teman-teman yang saat ini sedang berjuang, di mana pun dan apa pun keadaannya, tetap semangat dan percayalah pada diri kalian, bahwa kalian mampu. Meskipun banyak rintangan dan hambatan, teruslah berlari, sesekali tersandung tak masalah, just keep going! Dalam hidup ini, tidak semuanya dapat berjalan sesuai dengan rencana, tapi yakinlah bahwa selalu ada yang terbaik dari-Nya.

To get everything, we need to take some time.

Friday, November 20, 2015

Bed Room

I had never cleaned my bed room when I was in elementary school. My mama always told me to fix my bed and my room, every time I woke up. She said, "you have to keep your room clean". But then, I never heard her. I went to school and left my messy room. However, I wasn't a little girl that had her mom stayed at home all day and all night, cooked for our breakfast, cleaned the whole house, and prepared my 'school things'. She's my mama. The strongest person that I knew. She used to work at office.
After graduating from elementary school, I entered PPMI Assalaam (Islamic Modern Boarding School in Surakarta, Central Java) and lived far from my parents.  Suddenly, I realized. No one was going to remind me to fix my bed, to fix my room.
Every moment that I lived. Every lessons that I learned. Those made me realize, "I'm the only one who can fix me". So, I remembered what she had already told me. I always tried to keep my bed cleaned and arranged. I spent 2 years in boarding school. I took an acceleration class.
Now I know, that it's a good thing to have my room is always in 'nice' condition. I miss her, and for everything that she already told me. It taught me, to always fix every mistake that I made, to always do the right things, and make everything right.
To keep your bed and your room cleaned every time you wake up is just a simple thing. But, look what behind it all. It's good to always clean the room before start the day. It means that you already prepared yourself before starting the day.
You can go with smiles to your 'nice' room and don't forget to say "Assalaamualaykum" when leaving, and also say that when you come back.
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